Week 42 (or something...)

I got to sing at Nick and Laura's wedding
even though I was still angry about the
Cincinnati Chili fiasco. 

I don't even know why I am still labeling these by weeks. Like I said in an earlier post... THIS IS THE BUSIEST TIME OF THE YEAR! Between the family, moving into a new building for Ridge Church, and moving to a new house, there isn't a lot of time left over. I have been working though. I promise. I'm just going to dump stuff on here, from now on.

Ok, "Your Children" is a song I wrote for my former church, Warehouse 242's Tenebrae service. I've talked about this Good Friday service before over here. It really was special to be a part of. I loved seeing God-given creativity and the Gospel, colliding.

The song was the final piece of the night. It's based upon the Bible verse John 19:30, which says, "when he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit." Jesus died for a reason. Because we, all of us, are His children. He loves us like a daddy. He laid down his life just like any loving father would. He wants the best for us. He does.

Enjoy,

Christopher

     Recorded June 23, 2009 and November 2-7, 2012. This is another song that I thought was long lost on that dead hard drive. I'm glad it has gotten to see the light of day. Nick Nichols played drums with me for the Tenebrae service and later recorded them for me. While taking a break from working on the song, he ate all of my leftovers of Cincinnati Chili that Rachael had made the night before. I'm not gonna lie, I'm still pretty bitter about it. Thanks a lot, Nick. Seriously. 

Lyrics 


Rest well, beloved
for you have been chosen
the son of man

Rest well, beloved
you body is broken
as a covenant

You carried me 
every step of the way
Oh, the weight of your gift
Oh, what a debt to pay

Rest well, beloved
your hands have brought glory 
to all the land

Rest well, beloved
the door has been opened 
to bring us home again

Rest well, beloved
for you will rise and reign over
every nation

You carried us
every step of the way
Oh, the weight of this gift
Oh, what a debt to pay

And with your last breath
you exclaimed

We are all your children
Every treasured life
We are all your children
You alone, our God

We are all your children
Your own flesh and blood
We are all your children
You alone, our God

We are all your children
Each one wrapped in light
We are all your children
You alone, our God

We are all your children
Precious in your sight
We are all your children
You alone, our God

We are all your children
Each and every one
We are all your children
You alone, our God

Week 31...

I had a request for "Sink, Swim" by my old band, One Amazin' Kid. I just had to oblige. 

When I met my wife, Rachael, I knew I was in trouble. She was young and inexperienced. I was pretty much the opposite. My experiences included being married, divorced and being the father of two little boys. Alas, there was an immediate connection with Rachael, regardless of age or baggage. I fell head over heels for her. Along the way, we've dealt with a lot of that baggage. There were moments when I  deeply regretted and was saddened by my past decisions, (none of those regrets have anything to do with my boys.) I've mourned the chunks of my heart that I gave away, previous to knowing Rach. If only I'd have known she was out there. If only I could have introduced myself to her, whole and unbroken. Hindsight, right? I know for a fact that I would not have been the man she needed without my trials. They have sharpened me along the way. I am a better man. The journey has been long and rewarding. 

"Sink, Swim" is a song about regret and the aftermath. Those "old bones" from our closet or the bottom of the sea, where ever we might hide them, will always make themselves known. I am so thankful that I found someone filled with grace and understanding. Rachael Rebecca, I am glad that fate fell upon the two of us! 

Enjoy, 

Christopher 

     Recorded August 6-7, 2012. My dear friend and ex-bandmate, Grayson Berkowitz recorded the electric guitar parts at his house, then Dropbox-ed them to me. He does good work, I tell you. Thanks for your time, Grumpa.

Lyrics

The sea came alive with old bones

And ours were held responsible

Who's to care if we sink or swim

As long as there is air

Let's hope we've brought enough harm

To every single soul

Now that fate fell upon us

Now that fate fell upon us

This mother only cares for the young

And aged are we by blistering suns

The cradles song ever begs me to rest

It's always in the air

Let's hope we've brought enough harm

To every single soul

Now that fate fell upon us

Now that fate fell upon us

If we could spend our nights

Eyes locked and opened wide

Consequence would fade

Beneath every blink

These names I have held from you

But all to hold onto you

Now that fate fell upon us

Now that fate fell upon us

The sea came alive with old bones

And ours were held responsible

Week 23...

This week, I thought I'd revisit a song from my old band, One Amazin' Kid. At the end of our time together, we had a bunch of songs that we were playing live, but hadn't recorded past the demo phase. This was one such song. 

I wrote it after having a conversation with an old friend. Our paths had separated along the way. We reminisced on old times and talked about our lives apart. We both had our share of struggles to deal with. I was dealing with the aftermath of my divorce and was trying to figure out how to start over. He was dealing with drug abuse and depression. He talked of feeling completely alone and turning to drugs and alcohol to fill the void. The conversation left me mourning for him. I walked away from the talk with fresh eyes and a new perspective. Even with all I was going through, I felt the complete opposite. My void was filled. I kept saying to myself, "the past is in past. Grace covers all. Life has worth. Why doesn't he see it?" I could never seem to find the right way to say these things to him, so I put it into a song. 

"Rest For the Weary" is one of my favorite songs I've ever written. The lyrics mean so much to me. I hope you find something in them for yourself. Tell your friends about it. It would mean the world.

Enjoy, 

Christopher

     Recorded June 1-4, 2012. My old drummer Kevin McClain and I started tracking this in October, 2009, but never finished it. Those drum tracks had been sitting on a defective hard drive for a few years until my amazing neighbor kindly showed me how to retrieve the files! Kevin has recently been touring Europe with his new band, American Aquarium. Check them out if you get a chance.

Lyrics

Morning breaks, sweetly

Lift your face to the glory of the skies

It burns away the faults of yesterday

Open up, Blessed

Your heart aches and your soul was left to die

But don't believe you've been forsaken

We can be golden

We can feel innocence again

On this search for every reason

To give this life one more chance

We can be golden

We can forgive ourselves our past

Broken still

I feel it coming 'round

A mourning song begins

Strengthening before the shadows even fall

And it's become the thorn in your side

Open up, blessed

Joy awaits where hope is found

And the lights there are blinding

We can be golden

We can feel innocence again

On this search for every reason

To give this life one more chance

We can be golden

We can forgive ourselves our past

Broken still

I feel you coming around

Your burdens are fatal to hold alone

So you can rest them all on my shoulders

For tonight, lay it on me

For tonight, bury it in me

The winds blow colder with every step you take

But you, my friend, will never be alone again

For tonight

Happy Friday...

This is how we do it. Might not wanna ask us to your party...

Feel like dancing this weekend? Wanna cut footloose? I got somethin' fo ya... 

A while back, Dave from Your Dirty Habit remixed my song "Overcomers." It's a fun little dance rock piece to play in your car on the way to the club. (Is that still a thing? People do that, right?) 

Enjoy, 

Christopher

Week 20...

Every Good Friday evening, there is a service at my old church. It's called Tenebrae: the Service of Shadows. It's divided into seven sections, each part devoted to one of the seven passages Jesus spoke while he was on the cross. There is usually a team for each piece. Each team receives complete artistic license in creating the piece; be it art, poetry, spoken word or music. The evening is dramatically heavy with literal and metaphoric depictions of what Christ endured in his suffering. After each piece, a candle is extinguished until the room is completely dark.

One afternoon, a few weeks prior to being assigned my section for Tenebrae 2010, I sat down at the piano. My guitar fingers hacked at the keys until, all of a sudden, a song appeared. I had no clue from where the lyrics came. They weren't specific to anything going on in my life. They just came; almost like they had been given to me. 

I had participated in two prior Tenebrae services, so I was getting pretty excited about writing for the next one. I emailed Steve Whitby, creative director at Warehouse 242. He was in charge of the planning for Tenebrae. I asked him if he had decided who was doing what for the service. He said that I was doing the second portion. This is the corresponding verse...

One of the criminals hanging there threw insults at him: "Aren't you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!" The other one, however, rebuked him, saying: "Don't you fear God? Here we are all under the same sentence. Ours, however, is only right, for we are getting what we deserve for what we did; but he has done no wrong." And he said to Jesus, "Remember me, Jesus, when you come as King!" Jesus said to him, "I tell you this: Today you will be in Paradise with me." Luke 23:39-43

After reading the verse, it all made sense. The song that I wrote at the piano that day was written for Tenebrae. I was so surprised and excited to share it. 

"A Conversation" is about reaching the end of yourself; About realizing that life is empty without faith; And that everyone is worthy of grace. It has been a couple of years since it has seen the light of day, but I'm excited to share the song again, with you. 

Enjoy, 

Christopher

     Recorded May 13-16, 2012. This was the first and last song that I've ever performed live, on piano. Please don't make fun of my playing. 

Lyrics

I hope You don’t notice but I’m going nowhere 

Almost as fast as the years

I hope You don’t notice but I’m falling apart

And not even just at the seams

And You say hold on, my love

Well, what is the use        

What is the use

Haven’t You noticed that I’m only half the man

That I have been claiming to be

I thought I was greater

I thought I could stand tall

But that just was deep within my dreams

And You say You want my love

Well, what is it good for

What is it good for

You say, hold on, my love

Well, what is the use

What is the use

You want to save me

You want to save my soul

Don’t You know that I’m a thief and a liar

My mind murders

It kills Your creation

These hands strangle love and compassion

My mouth has cursed You

This heart has hardened 

And still You’re here knocking at its door

I hope You don’t mind if I lean on your shoulder

I haven’t the strength to go on

Or carry me over these constant reminders

Of all that I’m not and You are

Week 15 & 16...

The week of Easter definitely put a screw into the gears for me. With all the stuff going on with family, church and losing my voice completely, I am playing a little bit of catch up! My plan didn't really change though.

Honor Rose making sure I don't read my book.

This month, my twin daughters turned one! The year has definitely flown by. Every day I fall more madly and deeply in love with these little ladies. Their personalities are shining through. So are their teeth! Honor Rose's came in first; and with such a gap, that I've been calling her "Strahan." Isaiah Jane only had one for about a month, so I called her "hillbilly." We don't sugar coat it over here.

I love my boys, but there is something that changed in the heart of this daddy when those little girls came into the picture. It swells and stirs in my chest, uncontrollably. It escapes my body in the form of tears and sighs; both, filled with joy. It's fierce and protective. Look out future prom dates. Their brothers and I will be waiting up with the lights on.

Isaiah Jane snuggling at a doctor's appointment.

I decided, in honor of my Honor Rose and Isaiah Jane, I would record some lullabies. The first is actually one I wrote for their brother, Ames Emmanuel. It is called "Goodnight, Sweetheart." It is fun and cheesy, I know. Don't hold it against me. Dad's are cheesy, right? From there, I recorded two for the girls. If I have a wild hair, you might hear a couple more this week. We'll see.

Enjoy,

Christopher

     Recorded April 15-19. Sorry about the lateness of it all. Also, this week takes us past a whole hour of free music! I hope you are into it.

Lyrics

Goodnight sweetheart
It's time for sleep
It seems your day
It is complete
You sang some songs
And cried some tears
We made memories
For your years

Goodnight my dear
It's time to dream
Lay down the day
In reverie
'Cause In the morn
There'll be much to do
But if you want
I'll play with you

Because it's heaven when you smile
I'm proud to say that you're my child
From the first time I saw those eyes
I have loved you

Goodnight my love
It's time for bed
So bring that pillow
To your head
I'll turn down the lights
And sing a tune
While you gaze
Up at the moon

My sweetest one
Let's say our prayers
With our God
Our fears we share
Let's think on all
We're thankful for
And all the people
You adore

'Cause you are bigger than you think
He's always listening when you speak
And even when you're feeling weak
He is holding you

My little lamb
It's time to sleep
But don't you worry
Don't you weep
For when tomorrow
Starts anew
I promise I
Will still love you
I'll still love you

The day is all but done
Still the lights are aglow and warm
I keep them on to see your face
Because you are my love

The night is black and cold
But you're always here to hold
I blanket you with songs and prayers
Because you are my love

A life is never long enough
To share all that's inside
But the song of heaven ever rings
It's where our spirits hide

These memories start to fade
But I'm saving all I can
In my heart, there is room enough
Because you are my love


The day that you were born
I could have weathered any storm
For I had never been
As strong as I was then
A flicker into a flame
A life behind a name
This babe, so wonderful
That came and made us whole

The love, the light
The beauty of all that is sacred began
With the touch of your hand
My love, my life was changed from darkness
To ravishing light, the day you were born

Your eyes, deep as the sea
Your breath, it's calming breeze
And pulled by gravity
Your hands, they reach for me

When your heart is broken
And your colors start to fade
I'll pour my love upon you
And wash the hurt away
To me, my child, you've been given
With you, I vow to stay
This lovely tale will have no end
In the light of Heaven's grace
You're my miracle

My love, would you take the time and walk with me today
My hand wants to fill with yours and sway until it's late
Who cares if we're left beyond the wall of daylight's gate
My dear, let the darkness fall and walk with me

Beside the beds where radiant roses bloom
'Neath the rusty light of the rising crimson moon
And all the while the quiet sings a tune
My love, take walk with me tonight

My love, would you take the time and walk with me alone
Who cares, if the clouds roll in and chill us to the bone
My arms they are oh so warm and yours to own

We'll trace the lines of lonely shooting stars
And all the while our frames will never part
I'll tell you just how beautiful you are
My love, take a walk with me tonight

credits

My Lion, My Prince...

My first-born is twelve years old today. Where has the time gone? I recall the day this picture was taken. It was a warm, sunny day. I was sitting on my patio while he played in the back yard. He had taken off his shoes and put on mine. He was sitting on a bucket, using a plastic shovel to dig in the dirt. The smudges on his face and those sweaty curls just begged for a snapshot.

Nowadays, he'd rather be playing with his iPhone or his skateboard. He is getting pretty good at running receiving routes. He's handsome and tender-hearted. He loves his little brothers and sisters, so well. He will be an amazing father. I take pride in that. I'm really hard on him, I know. But he is growing into a fine specimen. He is becoming his own person. I just cannot believe how far he has come; how big he is getting.

One night, when he was six, he was having trouble sleeping. I came into his room and talked to him. I told him that if he was scared, he could pray about it. I said he could ask Jesus to take away the things that he was afraid of. The next night, I stood at his door, to make sure he was sleeping. I could hear his little voice saying, "Please, Jesus. Please, Jesus." It continued and got more and more panicked. I entered the room and calmed him. I held and prayed over him. I'll never forget it.

The episode inspired my song, "Sacred Heart." It is a lullaby for my Lucas Grey. You can download the acoustic version for free! My favorite part of the song is the bridge. The lyrics are, "It's time to close your eyes and lay your head down. Precious child, we'll get through this. The terrible world sways at your movement. You can walk through it alone and unafraid. My lion, my prince... There's no comparison. So, don't you shed a tear, my son. There's a sacred heart that beats for you alone." Man, it made me tear up just typing it. 

If you didn't know it already, I love my boy. I am proud of the man he is becoming. Happy birthday, Lucas.

Enjoy, 

Christopher

Week 10...

When I look back at my musical history, there is a certain point where I start to cringe. It's the place where I begin to say, "what was I thinking!?" I don't like to actually listen back to my early recordings. They are far too painful. I usually can't make it through an entire song.

Circa September 1997

I do, on the other hand, fondly remember those days. I remember buying my first guitar. All of the guys I had been playing with and learning from, played Fender Strats. And, of course, that's what I wanted and set out to purchase. I drove over to the old McFayden Music store on Independence Blvd. My salesman was a guy named Van Sachs. Little did I know, he is a well known guitar player here in Charlotte. He was very accommodating. He asked what I was interested in and I confusedly said, "a Telecaster, sir." Stratocaster... Telecaster... They sound the same, right? Well, they are not the same at all, nor do they sound the same. 

He would pick up a guitar and play it. Then he would hand it to me. I remember feeling so embarrassed to play in front of him. I had just started playing and only knew a few chords (not by name, but by finger position.) Alas, I fell head over heels for one. It was a slightly used, cream yellow, American Telecaster with a rosewood fretboard. I told Van I would have to think about the purchase and get back to him soon. Soon turned out to be the next day. I had to have her. She needed me and I needed her. I talked him down a little on the price and walked out the door with such excitement. 

I was stoked to show my friends my new obsession. When I did, I realized that I had bought a Telecaster, not a Stratocaster. What a huge mix up. I am pretty sure I felt stupid for about half of a second. Then, I started making music. Good times.

This week's song is from that era. I wrote "A Remembrance" in a time where everything was golden. I didn't know pain. I'd never met loneliness. I had only dreamt of love. It touches on the enduring question of, "can we go home again?" Looking back, it almost seems prophetic. With the trials I have endured in my life, I can reminisce and laugh at my former self. But maybe my former self knew what awaited me in the future. 

Enjoy, 

Christopher

     Recorded March 5-6. I hadn't played this song in a decade or so. My ring finger on my picking hand cramped up on me something fierce. 

A Remembrance

This house seems small. The trees are shorter than I recall. I've still got the sap on my hands from back in the day. I will return to you. I will return to you. Chase like the wind. Without a fear inside my head, but that of death. And I am still a little scared, I admit. I will return to you. I will return. I'm so thankful for all that I've endured. And to my flesh and blood for all that I've become. If I could go back again, would I change all that's been? If I could go home tonight, would I make it all right? No, I would stay. I'd keep it all the same. I would stay.